Tasha’s Epic Quadrennial Olympics Analysis
Day 2
The work that pays me has been getting in the way of my Olympics watching. I decided to work during the day and just watch the events during prime time. However, NBC’s coverage is infuriating. Between all their franken-editing and the commercials, it’s almost unwatchable.
- The U.S. women’s water polo team opened competition by totally dominating Greece. They’ve won 3 straight Olympic gold medals and I’m pretty sure they’ll get that fourth one this year. By the way, I was yesterday years old when I found out that women’s water polo is a contact sport. I never knew how violent it was. I knew you had to have tremendous strength and stamina, but dang, under the water, these women are tackling each other. I felt like throwing a yellow flag for holding.
- I will say, the highlight of the water polo game was watching Flava Flav and Jill Biden taking pictures together.
- Y’all didn’t tell me Michigan was reppin’ in men’s gymnastics. Go Blue! Still, I’m not the biggest fan of men’s gymnastics, with the exception of the still rings. Did you know that there are point deductions if male gymnasts grimace or grunt during their routines??? Aside from having zero upper body strength, I’d lose every time. My face doesn’t know when to be quiet.
- I love how they put a heart monitor on Asha Hong’s mom. I’d love to see the data from all mom’s watching their kids compete.
- If you get a chance, watch the process of turning the Paris La Defense Arena into the Olympics aquatics center.
- Katie Ledecky is the greatest swimmer of all time, male or female. Periodt. Hard stop. You can try to fight me on this, but you’ll lose!
- In her one-on-one interview with Katie Ledecky, Leslie Jones dropped a jewel of a quote: “if you pee in my pool, you’ll pee in my life.” I need to find a way to use that in everyday conversation.
- During the men’s 400m freestyle, I felt disrespected on behalf of Korea. Despite Kim Woo-min swimming one helluva race and capturing the bronze medal, the announcers barely acknowledged this.
- Procedural question: why is lane four the preferred lane?
- I’m all for some good-natured trash talking but Australia what you’re not going to do is criticize the cowbell, especially since ringing the cowbell before the meet is one of the few jobs I’m qualified to do at the Olympics. I had had my eye on becoming a coxswain, but one of my former students, who’s a member of the reining national championship rowing team (Hook’em) dashed my dreams by informing me that I neither met the height nor the weight requirements.
- It’s humbling to know that less than 8 seconds separate first and last place in the women’s 400m freestyle. It takes me longer than that just to get up out of a chair, although that doesn’t really say much.
- Just an aside, Michael Phelps and his man bun are stressing me out.
- The first U.S. medal of these Olympic games was won by Kassidy Cook and Sarah Bacon during the 3m synchronized springboard diving. Cook ‘n Bacon has to be one of the best team names of all time. If I ever make the Olympics, I’ll have to find a partner whose last name pairs well with Philpot.
- The first U.S. gold medal of these Olympic games was won by Caeleb Dressel and the members of the 4x100m freestyle team. Fun fact, Dressel has won 8 Olympic medals, and all of them have been gold.
- I stayed up to watch surfing. The surfing announcers have their own language, so I had no idea what was going on or how surfing is scored. Everybody looked like they did a good job to me. What I can say is that the waves were beautiful and looked like CGI. Also, feel free to contribute to my GoFundMe to finance my trip to Tahiti.
- Another fun fact: Tahiti is the furthest Olympic outpost competition site in history.
That’s it for today, although I think I’ll switch my Olympics watching to during the day and doing the work that pays me during prime time.